“Karma Yoga”

i nurse myself
on you
adoring me
I nurse myself
on senseless metal
placed in my hand
i nurse myself on
mics in my face
and flashing cameras
and questions about
my process

i nurse myself
on wallets
filled to overflowing
and fine wines
I can identify
and steaks that are well-seasoned
and a car that comes
to get me
no matter where I am

i nurse myself
on an endless parade
of pussy
marching through
my bedroom
classy girls who know how to have a good time
girls with fat asses
girls that know exactly when
i want them
to leave
and do

i nurse myself
on the opening
night party
of my play
a heralded hit
i’m leaning casually
against the bar
i look good in my tuxedo
i’m a little bored with it all
all the acclaim
because it’s all the same
day in, day out
i’m just drunk enough
to keep things interesting
but not so drunk
i can’t stay upright
a woman walks in
she moves
like she was made
for moving,
her eyes –
they’re not like
she’s unstoppable,
and so am i
i walk over to her and say
“I wrote the play
you saw tonight.”
And she says, “I didn’t see it.
I overslept.
Was it any good?”
John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman
are playing
“You Are Too Beautiful”
and she lets me have this dance
i know this is fate
this is destiny
because I have been nursing myself
on this dream
and here it is
come to life

i nurse myself
on the cool
breeze of the beach
i nurse myself
on a log cabin
in the woods
i nurse myself
on the image of her,
belly full of child,
snoring in front
of the fire place.

and my Muse
pulls this tit
from out my mouth
and sticks a finger down my throat
my dreams
“These will make
good kindling,”
she says.
and into her furnace
they go
they go up like dry grass
they go up like curtains
hanging in my
log cabin house
in the woods
near the beach

they are gone
forever now
in fire and in smoke

I breathe a sigh of relief
and a sigh of grief

now I can write


6 thoughts on ““Karma Yoga”

  1. Wowsers, so normally I would shower accolades on you for such a feat of literature but sounds like you’re in the process of weening. Or actually maybe more praise is what you need, more fodder for your muse. It says that 7 bloggers “like” this piece which is something but we don’t take enough time to give concrete, detailed compliments. This is something the like button has stolen from us, especially from those of us who need constructive and specific feedback. So my advice is that if you want more praise (and there’s nothing wrong with wanting praise, especially for a Leo, its our bread and butter) give more praise. If we want more love in our lives, be more loving. If we want more respect, be more respectful of others. Its not always easy to do but I find that when i feel something is missing in my life its that I’m not giving the world what I myself want back from it.
    Also from the book of ‘Shit New Age Girls Say’, you HAVE to be a double Leo!


      • I know what you mean….I think. Is it like when sometimes you get a mango at peak ripeness that is the best thing you have ever put in your mouth (that’s what she said) but then other times you get this other mango that is just Ok because you have that first awesome mango to compare it to now, but if you hadn’t ever had that first mango then that 2nd mango would have been great. That first mango was so good that it has ruined not only other mangos for you but all other fruit. Is that what you meant? Maybe not. Care to elaborate?
        Mmmmmmmm mangos.


      • That’s one way to look at it, but I’m now thinking that the mixed fruit metaphor wasn’t the best one. Truth be told, I’m more interested in what YOU think, as opposed to laying down what I think, only because I just wrote a poem about it, and I feel like the more I talk about it, the more work I’m trying to do on the poem’s behalf, which either means I didn’t communicate the ideas clearly enough, or I’m not trusting the work I’ve already done. Both could be true. For now, I’ll let it stand and just listen.


      • No no no, you communicated the ideas fabulously. I love the way the different nursing stanzas progress from material wealth (or 1st chakra business) with the bling and then the steak (3rd Chakra, digestive fire) up through the sexy scene with the woman at the bar (where the 4th Chakra, the heart, is introduced) and then to the dear domestic scene in the cabin. I recently watched ‘Groundhog Day’ and realized Bill Murray was just moving through the chakras towards enlightenment. You think he will be allowed to move on to tomorrow when he finally gets in touch with his feelings for Andie MacDowell and expresses them to her in this really beautiful way. But the next day he’s still there, forced to repeat the same day once again. The next step is to let go of that desire to have her and “hold her for a long time”. Then he gives this great speech one night after she has won him at the bachelors auction about how he doesn’t care what happens tomorrow because he is happy NOW and thats all there is. It is only when he completely lets go of any attachment or any future does he get to move on. Your poem reminded of that. Letting go of all these fantasies in the form of vomiting them up, great. And in only doing so can you create the very thing that may bring you what you want, great paradox. I think it would have been neat for there to be one more scene after the cabin by the ocean one that explored the domain of the 6th and 7th chakras too.
        Oh and one practical tip: Fireplaces, although quite quaint, are an incredibly inefficient way to heat a cabin. Most of the heat just goes up the chimney. Wood burning stoves are the way to go 😉
        Keep ’em coming, can’t wait for the next one! No pressure though.


  2. Oh, and the new photos look really good. The split face image is effective, very Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.


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